my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
