She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
