Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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