We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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