you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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