I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I didn't notice because vodka
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
