why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My vagina is very pro this idea
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
