youre lurking in front of me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
