Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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