ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize