hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
