sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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