i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i came on her dog
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
