I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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