There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
