Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
