Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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