To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
