Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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