Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he fucked my hip out of place.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
