I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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