Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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