I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
