So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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