so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
