shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
