So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
