I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
