This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
