Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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