Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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