just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
