problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
