Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
