ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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