please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize