once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
