Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
