i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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