My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize
