Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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