yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
