I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
