ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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