help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i already hear my dad disowning me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
