We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
