ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
