just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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