listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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