instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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