Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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