margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
