You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
