she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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