They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize