I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have fence marks all over my body
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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