We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
