listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
