what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize