dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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