I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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