Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
