so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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