well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize