If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
