just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
