She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
