found the other keg... it's in the tree
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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