i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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