I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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