Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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