i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
