I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
