the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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