is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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