Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
