Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
