Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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